I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
