i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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