would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
