the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
