You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
