Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
