her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
