If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
