She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
