It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
