how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
