is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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