cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
