Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
