No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
