How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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