Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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