She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
