i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
