last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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