she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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