dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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