I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
