Ambien. No doubt about it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you would pick up someone in the library
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
