i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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