we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
