it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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