More tranny stories later!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
