OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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