Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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