Do you still have your period?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
