Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My brain says no but my pants say off.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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