I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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