so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
