when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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