didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
