His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
