Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
