I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
