We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
