you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When are your genitals available?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
