Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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