Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
