But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
