I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
this is an emotional support booty call
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
