ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
