...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
