Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
