weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
