What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
