When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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