I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
