As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just cropdusted the office
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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