Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
