I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want to have your abortion
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
